How to tame your inner villain…

Yesterday was the biggest event I’ve ever managed. It included a live in-person event, 12 virtual watch parties and me as the host and planner. The in-person event was the easy part, but throw in a last-minute budget restriction, the ever-changing technology and my tendency to be an overachiever … and you have the perfect combination of factors to create a stressful experience.

When I’m stressed, my inner villain voice starts to find everything that could, would and will go wrong … So from my inner perfectionist to yours, here are three tips to help turn down the volume on your inner villain and turn up the volume of your inner hero:

1. Say thank you

You’re good at your job because you have perfectionistic tendencies, but when your inner perfectionist stops being productive, you know you’ve tipped from leveraging your inner strengths and allowed them to become weaknesses. Our brain is powerful and unless we acknowledge our thoughts (especially negative ones), our brain works to make sure they stay top of mind.

Tip: Saying thank you (to yourself) when you think a negative thought is powerful because it acknowledges that thought instead of ignoring it. If we try to ignore it, we give it fuel to linger, fester and we tend to catastrophize all the things that could go wrong - that negative rabbit hole is exhausting and unproductive. Saying thank you pauses the downward spiral and allows you enough time to ask a better question.

2. Understand your negativity bias

As humans we have a negativity bias. This means that negative experiences are like Velcro to our brain. It also means that positive experiences are like Teflon to our brain. It’s in our DNA and it’s how we’re hard-wired. Here is an example: We have a negative experience (like a venue that booked a super loud event in the adjacent room) and we react, and try to make the best of it, but then that memory gets seared into our brain. Our brain is powerful and wants to make sure that never happens again, so we constantly scan the environment to make sure that never happens again. The problem is that because the brain is so powerful, it seeks to find evidence to validate our thoughts and inner questions. If we look for what’s wrong, our brain will find it.

Hint: The antidote to our negativity bias is to savor our positive experiences. If negative experiences are like that Velcro on your winter jacket, that grabs and destroys your scarf and anything else it touches, then you must counteract the negativity with positivity. Since positivity is like Teflon (imagine the infomercials where the egg is sliding in the pan without any butter or spray), we have to take extra steps to give our positive thoughts and experiences staying power. Making time to celebrate small victories, even for a moment, allows us to make them sticky and gives them staying power.

3. Ask yourself better questions

Because of our negativity bias, we seek to avoid negative experiences by constantly looking for the next negative experience. That seems irrational, but that’s what allowed our ancestors to survive. The problem is that you don’t want to merely survive – you want to be successful, happy and growing - you want to thrive. Our desire to avoid pain will cause us to look for more pain and will have us asking questions to find evidence of more potential pain. I know, it seems crazy, but it’s true.

Tip: When you find yourself headed into unproductive territory, pause for a moment and check your questions. Ask yourself, “Is this question serving me? and “What is a better question I need to be asking?” Then you can use your extra time to do something for yourself. Maybe you could grab a coffee with that old friend or take that walk that you’ve been putting off.

In closing, remember your brain’s negativity bias when it starts taking you down an unproductive habit loop. Take a moment to ask yourself a better question and savor something good in your life. This will allow you to tame that inner villain voice and enable your inner hero.

Ready to BE THE HERO? Visit www.MichaelHahnSpeaker.com.

About the Author: Michael Hahn is a keynote speaker and author of “Hero Habits: The Guide to THRIVING in Corporate America and in Life.” Michael’s high energy, interactive approach and humorous style inspire audiences to embrace their inner hero. You can reach him at (630) 220-9628 or info@MichaelHahnSpeaker.com.