Ask the Expert - Have You Ever Wondered What Drives Friendship?

How many people have you made a real effort to get to know on a personal basis?

Ted Miller, Enterprise Holdings

Most of us would say that we have a lot of friends, but how many of those friends do you consider as truly close friends? The answer is really quite simple: How many people have you made a real effort to get to know on a personal basis?

When you have someone who is a truly close friend, somewhere in your relationship there was an opportunity for you to do something for that individual and endear yourself to them. Many people do not realize that when you are willing to go the extra mile to help someone you can be helping them in a way you could not have imagined. There are times that when a word from you on someone’s behalf can have a tremendous effect on the outcome of a meeting or event where they are engaged.

There are also times when you drive friendship through mentoring. This also has another element to it which is flattering — encouraging someone when a task that faces them may seem overwhelming to them, but you know they have the ability to complete it. This is an area where you can have an almost life-changing effect on them when they hear from you the expression of true confidence in their abilities. Everyone needs a boost periodically, and when you hear it from certain people it means even more.

Establishing a reputation as a leader creates an opportunity for you to be viewed by your peers as someone they should know and use as a role model. It is important you create your image to be one of inclusion and motivating to others. People will always follow someone they like who shows respect to them in their knowledge and abilities and desires to give them additional opportunities where their talents are seen by others.

Many people want the opportunity to be seen as a leader but may shy away from the spotlight as they are unsure of their abilities or feel they may be out of place. This is where the leadership you project to your colleagues will help encourage them to step forward even if it is just a step or two. This is also where you can be seen as a safety valve if someone suddenly feels out of place or now feels unsure of their abilities. Having you as their anchor will bolster them to achieve more.

One last but very important point is never abuse a friendship or put them in a situation that could compromise them. When you are unsure of a situation, ask their permission before making a commitment. You must always show them the respect that you would expect.